Friends and Friendship

It’s a strange topic on a blog like this, I know, but it flows, in an unplanned way, with all I’ve written to you for the past three Fridays. God is interested in our lives and there’s an expression of the new life in the matter of friendship.

I know it sounds like a topic of discussion for a motivational speaker but the importance of friendship is such that needs divine counsel to experience the blessedness of it.

let me share a succinct description of what friendship is as I saw on a blog. Sadly I didn’t get the reference, but here we go.

True friendship is a noble and virtuous attachment, springing from a pure source, a respect for worth or amiable qualities. False friendship may subsist between bad men, as between thieves and pirates. This is a temporary attachment springing from interest, and may change in a moment to enmity and rancor.”

Friends are really important in life, you see. I seem to remember king Rehoboam who rejected wise counsel from Elders who served his father and took the counsel of his friends. You ask, “Rowland how do you know they were friends, the Bible says young men?” Well the Bible says “…young men who grew up with him and served him”. That’s the thing about friends, you journey with them and render services. (That statement doesn’t explain what the Bible means by “they served him”… Cos it could actually mean they were in his Royal service… I was stating what happens in friendship). It is very natural for people to turn to friends for counsel before family.

Note: I cannot by this single post exhaust the description of and the importance of friendship but I believe I can talk about this very important aspect of it. You must know it is very important not just to life but to God that He mentions it in the Bible a number of times.

God is very interested in friendship.

Let me put it this way so it’s more direct… God is very interested in who you call friend, who you roll with, because it means you take counsel from them.

A Greek word “Hetairos” which means “friend” is further used for the words “companion” and “comrade“. I think this explains the importance and depth of friendship.

So why am I talking to you about friendship?

My aim is to make you understand that friends are not picked. Your value and chase is what attracts and qualifies them. They are a major reflection of your pursuit. This is in no way encouraging hate or snobbish characters… Anyways, I have no fear ‘cos the word of God is “balance”.

Have you asked yourself why the people you call friends made it to that list of friendship?

Oh we were roomies so we became friends… Oh, I mean, we were classmates and project partners so I had no choice, oh I just love how she vibes (common language, “she’s a vibe”), well our families have been close since we were kids so we became close friends…

Let me drop this… The fact that you talk with someone doesn’t make you friends… Acquaintances talk, Business partners talk, etc. Communication doesn’t mean friendship.

I’m heading somewhere, let me not get sidetracked trying to explain friendship.

All those reasons given are not the true reason you are friends with them… Or let me put it this way, they are not the real reason revealed by the word.

2 Timothy 2:22 (KJV)
“Flee also youthful lusts: but follow righteousness, faith, charity, peace, with them that call on the Lord out of a pure heart.”

Now, this scripture doesn’t directly talk about friends and friendship, but somehow, it shows me how friends are made and what kind of friends are made, that’s why I’m sharing with you.

Often, people tell me they want to change their circle of friends and I go “Oh, nice, very nice. Why though?” and the reasons I get, though legitimate yet not purpose driven enough. I get reasons like “She’s just so annoying” (especially ladies…), “she’s not considerate”. These are good reasons but… Let’s look at it from a different perspective.

Believe me when I tell you this, you don’t handpick friends. If you handpick anyone, it’s not friendship, it is a kind of contract or agreement (like we did back then in primary school, we would agree with the person whose birthday is the next day to be friends with them). So how do friends come if not by handpicking?

They come by “purposeful attraction” (I just had to coin my own word there… Ahahahah)… The letter to Timothy says “flee all youthful lusts but follow righteousness, faith, charity and peace” that is the charge. However, as you pursue this noble course, you will attract people who have also fled youthful passions (pure heart) and are pursuing after righteousness (call on God) and Paul says together with these people, pursue. Do not think you can flee lusts and pursue righteousness and have people who are of the opposite mind as friends.

This may be difficult for some to accept until they understand who God calls friend. So I suggest you read the following passages, Proverbs 17:17,18:24,27:9.

You cannot be heading Northward with people heading Southward, you’ll both not head anywhere... Lukewarmness.

Are your friends following after lust and the passions and patterns of the world, then that’s what you desire too…

They may have dealt with youthful lusts but they are not pursuing righteousness, faith, love and peace and we may grow uncomfortable because God is calling us out but we don’t want to lose the pleasures, we find ourselves battling with keeping these friends.

Listen to me, if you pursue passionately, you’ll only resonate with those who do the same… Pay attention… They might not be so mature but as long as they are calling on God out of a pure heart, there will be a knitting.
As long as they delight in the law of the Lord, they might be annoying, but you’ll know that nothing about you is pushing this one away.

Again, you do not pick friends, you attract them.

I believe, that when you become uncomfortable with your friends, check yourself, it may be a call to a deeper walk. Maybe you’ve become uncomfortable with the direction of discussions, their opinion about matters, you think words can be better used, etc. Now I’m not saying ostracise them, I am saying follow after the call and pursue God, unconsciously and gradually without quarrel and without a fuss, your circle will change.

Be kind and affectionate to ALL.

Consider this a break from the weightier matters we’ve been talking about. I hope it blessed you.

Please drop your comments and questions. Don’t forget to like and share.

God bless you. I’ll write to you next week.

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2 Comments Add yours

  1. rahjomuelvin says:

    Speaks volumes! And I agree. The friends we attract share common traits with us. My friends value what I also value. ❤️

    Liked by 1 person

  2. godswilliz says:


    Liked by 1 person

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